Welcome To The Center Of The Lax Universe..Geographically Speaking

Alma mater so renowned

The traffic in the DC-Baltimore region is atrocious. Washington DC ranks 2nd in the nation for commuter gridlock, just falling short of LA in this auspicious category. I used to brave that I-95 corridor everyday, traveling from my palatial estate in Catonsville, MD down to my office in Chantilly, Virginia. Needless to say I was ecstatic when a friend of mine helped me land a job much closer to my home, cutting my commute to 25 minutes on a busy day. The locale of my new employer just so happens be where I grew up and attended high school. Glen Burnie, MD. Population 40,000. Latitude: 39.16 N, Longitude: 76.61 W. Basically, the center of MD, lacrosse giant of the east coast. Bring on the hate Central New York and LI.

They say you can never go home again. I never understood that phrase until I passed my old high school and slowed all 3 cylinders of my '98 C-Roll to take a long look. The school looked smaller, dirtier, and less appealing then I had remembered. They also say the more things change, the more they stay the same. A lesson I was soon to experience first hand

Arundel dominated the face-off X all afternoon

Working so close to the school I decided that I would duck out of work early one day to check out a varsity lacrosse game and see how my Alma mater was faring in the highly competitive Anne Arundel County Public School League. So picking the next beautiful day, I drove the 2.3 miles over to the school to watch my Gophers play the Arundel Wildcats. Now I knew Arundel would be very good. The Wildcats are good at most sports, not just lacrosse. I was apprehensive in choosing this game for my dramatic return to Pop Wayland Field. I walked into the stadium not expecting a victory but  remaining optimistic that my Gophers would at least give Arundel a fight.

The Gophers were getting  a steady diet of this all game

So how'd my Gophers do? Lets just say that I rolled out in the middle of the 4th quarter. Arundel Wildcats 15,  Glen Burnie Gophers 0. It could have been worse. Arundel cleared its bench in the 2nd quarter and the Gopher goalkeeper must have had 12 saves by halftime. Bless you Arundel head coach Kevin Necessary for calling off the dogs early.



How could this be? How can a high school that is roughly 20 minutes from Johns Hopkins, UMBC, Loyola, Towson, Stevenson, McDaniel, and the Lacrosse Hall of Fame be this bad? On the way home, during dinner and sitting on my couch watching South Park, I mulled this over and over. I mean this is a school with over 1800 students. There must be 15 decent lax players in there somewhere right? This is Maryland! We eat crabs, drink Natty-Boh, vote Democrat, and play lax. I was on the verge of losing sleep over this so I went online and did some research. It got even worse! Since 2007 the GBHS Varsity Lacrosse team has compiled a record of 1 Win and 38 Loses! I felt ill.

Now to be fair, back when I played we weren't much better. I believe we had 2 wins my senior year, even though we fielded five All-County players, but we never got blown out. We had seasoned players but there just weren't many of us. Like I mentioned before, we were able to find at least 15 decent players. Prior to my sophomore year we played for the A.A. County Championship. That was just before head Coach Joe Rotellini  left us and went on to coach  D3 powerhouse Salisbury. Thanks for ruining my career Rotellini!

Yeah, at this point I had seen enough

So after several hours of contemplation and about 20 minutes of trying to change the words "Glen Burnie" on my High School Diploma to read "Gilman School", it slowly started to come to me. The five reasons that their lacrosse program struggles to compete in the heart of lax country USA began to reveal themselves to me.

1. No Feeder System. The city of Glen Burnie actually contains four high schools. North County, Glen Burnie, Old Mill and Northeast (although technically in Pasadena). There is no existing little league that feeds players into Glen Burnie High School. All of the youth programs in the area feed the other schools. In contrast, there are roughly 26 little league baseball teams in the area.

2. No Junior Varsity. No feeder system equals very little interest amongst the freshmen class in getting drubbed twice a week by kids with metal sticks. I don't believe the Gophers have had a JV for at least four years now. I know for a fact they do not have a JV this year. JV is strictly for developing skills, learning the program and preparing kids for varsity. This means that the Gophers have first year lacrosse players on their varsity squad that are probably getting playing time. At least the varsity letter will help them get chicks!

3. It's an older town. Established in 1931, it's one of the oldest towns in the county. Most of the land is developed. There are few new communities being built to attract young families to the area. Also, the median age of residents in Glen Burnie is higher than the rest of the county, meaning fewer young families are raising kids in the area. That equates to fewer youth lacrosse players. The result is no need for a local youth program.

4. Urban Flight. As citizens race to leave the steady crime rates and deterioration of the inner city, towns in the rural surroundings of Baltimore such as Glen Burnie are affected. Lets face it, outside of the MIAA Schools in Baltimore City, few inner city kids are playing lacrosse. New students transferring from the inner city schools to Glen Burnie are not playing lacrosse and not bringing in a new crop of talent to the school.

5. Income. The a median annual household income for Glen Burnie residents is almost $10,000 lower then the rest of the county. Anyone that has purchased lacrosse equipment these days knows how expensive lax can be. Clinics, camps and driving your kid 30 minutes to play for a youth league can all add up. This is also why Glen Burnie sucks at Ice Hockey. Okay, that's a really bad joke.

 And this was an away game! No sign like this anywhere for GBHS

This is all theory of course. My day job, children and my own lax career impede me from researching this topic further. I doubt there is much interest in this as well outside of the Alumni and myself, but I felt the need to write about it. Plus, Tom is nagging me for new content. I'm not trying to make excuses for the school's lack of success, I'm merely attempting to shed some light on why they struggle and why I should probably give the players a break and cut the coaches some slack. They've been dealt a tough hand and the rest of the county programs are passing aces and kings to each other under the card table.


24sevenlax.com would like to send a shout out to Arundel Wildcats "Team Mom" Lisa E. for the excellent game photos that she provided. Thank you again!

A Charles Street Legend Comes Down From My Wall.

219 points / 5th in Blue Jay history

Before my mother allowed me to cover my walls with partially nude bikini models and doped up rock stars that had overdosed or choked on their own vomit, my walls were covered with lacrosse posters. You see, before Lacrosse Magazine became obsessed with expanding the sport, they captivated their younger readers. What made the magazine even more special is that with every edition, the over-sized monthly included a Brine Lacrosse poster that the reader could remove and scotch tape to his or her bedroom wall. I know, I know, scotch tape? My mother wouldn't allow me to use thumb tacks and push pins were still a few years off.

I had all the greats back then, Tom Nelson, Brian Wood, Kirk Thurston, Brad Kotz, and Glenn Miles. But front and center was my full size poster of Johns Hopkins legend Jeff Cook. It was a thing of beauty and the ultimate action shot as far as posters were concerned. Cook was about to switch hands and complete a split dodge and stick one of his several goals against some poor sap from North Carolina. On second thought that sappy defensemen may have been Kevin Haus, who really wasn't a slouch, but who cares right? I seriously doubt he's one of our 51 readers.

Cook bagged 6 goals vs UNC in 1981

While on stage this past weekend blazing threw the second verse of " Manic Depression" with the über talented rock band Jason and The Butchers, I caught a glimpse of the half time report during the Hopkins-Maryland game on the big screen. The caption read "Jeff Cook dies at age 50". Bummer! Not only did I struggle to remember the next few lines of that Hendrix classic (that I happen to be completely shredding by the way), I slowly began to drift down the ever-calming seas of nostalgia. I don't hear much about the players from the 80s that inspired me to pick up the fastest game on two feet, except when their kids are playing or they pass away. I try not to forget them and if you have read any of my other posts on this blog then you've heard me mention a few of the greats. Anytime another lacrosse website or Facebook page offers up a "who is the greatest" poll, I always make sure to mention someone from the generation that took lacrosse into the modern age. In fact, I did that this morning. Someone asked who the greatest defensemen to ever pay the game was and I was shocked that I was the only person to answer Dave Pietramala. John Detomasso and Pat McCabe were nowhere to be found either. All of the other players mentioned were modern day players. I think Joel White from Syracuse received 15 votes. This is probably because 40 year old men don't dominate the lax scene on Facebook which in retrospect is probably a good thing. Now give me a second so I can change my vote to Ryan Flanagan.

Was color film available prior to 1982?

I won't go into all of Jeff Cook's impressive statistical accomplishments. You can find them all over the interweb, plus I try to avoid numbers and all things math related whenever possible. I do know that in the early 80's Cook was the complete player/superhero. He was a 3 time All-American, a 1986 Hall of Fame inductee, a US World Team member and he still ranks as one of Johns Hopkins all time point leaders. Not bad for a guy that played with a SAM. At the time of his death the cause could not be determined and quite frankly I'm not interested in finding out what it was. As far as I'm concerned I'm still that 12 year old kid with that poster on my wall, and the only thing that could have killed Jeff Cook is his own awesomeness.

New Product Review - Lock Laces

I like to think that I know some successful people. Several of my childhood friends went on to become teachers, lawyers, and even surgeons. In speaking with them through the years I'm sure at some point we have all agreed that we wanted to invent something cool, patent it, market it, sell it, and then sit back and watch the cash start rolling in. I have a short list of inventions written down at my desk at work and since I am still sitting at that desk everyday, it's quite obvious that none of these ideas have amounted to anything lucrative. I was sure that my idea for a toilet paper book would make me millions. You know, you read the book on the toilet and then you use the paper from that same book to....well you get the idea. What I just recently discovered through the magic of Facebook is that I know a guy that actually did it. He invented something cool, patented it, marketed it, sold it and although I don't think he's banked his first million yet, he is at the very least enjoying the ride.

Eric somehow looks way younger the me

Meet Eric Jackson, owner and creator of Lock Laces, a locking elastic twist on shoe laces. That's right, shoe laces. No wait, let me rephrase that, friggin shoe laces! How can you improve on shoe laces, right? You pull them through the holes, pull them tight and then tie them. Done, get on with your life. Wrong again, he's actually improved on this age old product that dates back to 3500 BC. Let me tell you more about Eric. He and I go way back, like 2nd grade way back. Gerald Ford was President at the time. I think I've made my point. Eric is the President, CEO, and founder of Street Smart LLC. Eric started Street Smart in March of 1999 to bring his new invention to the competitive sports apparel market. Eric manages the daily operations of the company and drives the marketing, sales, and product awareness campaigns. Eric was granted a patent for his invention in February of 2000. He was featured in the May, 1999 edition of the Baltimore Business Journal. In 2002 he appeared in Inventor’s Digest and in October of 2003 he received the Micro Enterprise Council of Maryland’s “Micro Business Person of the Year” award. Lock Laces has also been featured on QVC and is a National Sponsor of The Special Olympics Healthy Athlete/Fit Feet Program.

Laces...locked

Okay, so this sounds like a lot of work to me now. When does he get to sit back and watch the cash roll in?

Now that you know a little more about the creative sort of people that I grew up around, I'm sure you have more questions about why I turned out they way I did. Some other time, please. It's time to lace these things up and put them to the test. Now I'm not talking about testing these out at some lame track event or wimpy triathlon. I'm talking about the highly competitive and brutally challenging world of over 35 club lacrosse!

To keep my friendship induced bias for Eric's product in check I made sure that I used a controlled scientific method for testing. I wore a set of Lock Laces on my right cleat and good ole' fashioned cotton laces on my left cleat. My first impression was that the locking device that allows you to avoid numerous knots wouldn't be strong enough to hold the laces in place and they would loosen during the game. That hypothesis proved incorrect. The lock held firm for 2 hours of running and the shoe never became loose at all. Another early impression was that the Lock Laces were much more forgiving on the top of my foot then the tight cotton laces. The Lock Laces flexed as I ran while retaining their snugness even at the extreme speeds that I can generate while driving to the goal. The cotton laces went from cutting off the blood in my veins in the first quarter to being some what loose by the end of the first half. The cotton laces actually burst into flames in the 3rd quarter as I chased down a defensemen during a ride. Luckily, some of Anne Arundel County's finest firefighters were there to extinguish the flames. The Lock Laces never caught fire even when I was hitting Steve Austin like speeds. I gotta admit it, by the end of the game I was totally digging the Lock Laces and I quickly changed out my left cleat to a set of Lock Laces after the game.

So I'm giving Lock Laces a thumbs up and a symbolic high five to my former classmate for improving a product that seemingly didn't need to be improved upon. Hopefully Eric will remember me and this glowing review of his product when he makes it to the top. Yes, I'm a suck up and don't forget the free schwag for the Blarney Lacrosse Club either my friend.

Around 5 bucks a pair and they come in some cool colors to boot my friends. Check out the Lock Laces site and Facebook page if you get the chance.

UVA Leaderless and Luther Campbell to the Rescue

"I graduated from UVA,  it's not exactly a charm school".

Who said this line? Well if you're a major film nerd like me you'll know that Clarice Starling uttered that phrase in Jonathan Demme's Academy Award winning thriller "The Silence of The Lambs". But today, those words could have come from any number of recent UVA lacrosse grads. Yes it seems that the 2011 UVA Lacrosse Campaign has struck ice and is sinking fast.

When I published my picks for the 24sevenlax.com preseason poll I had UVA as my preseason #1 team. Lets face it, they returned several big-time offensive weapons, some talented young guns and one of the nation's best goalies. I picked them ahead of Syracuse for two more reasons. 1) Being from Baltimore, I must hate Syracuse (it says this on my birth certificate and driver's license) and 2) I envisioned the UVA players rallying from the tragic events that took place last year to bring home the National Title in the name of their fallen classmate. 'What a wonderful and inspiring story that would be' I thought. Unless you've been sleeping under a rock you are probably well aware of the horrific murder of UVA lacrosse player Yeardley Love and the subsequent arrest of UVA middie George Huguely. I mean, this was going to be the season that movies are made of right? Right?

Does Blarney Lax need any middies?

 Wrong. The problems started quietly in the fall when top recruit and devil's spawn, Howie Long Jr. was placed on academic suspension and removed from the lacrosse team. Long made national headlines when he chose to play lacrosse instead of football like his old man. Then the first game of the season saw 3rd Team All-American goalkeeper Adam Ghitelman suspended for team policy violations. Game three against a nationally ranked Stony Brook squad saw the suspension of Rhamel and Shamel Bratton for the same reasons, team policy violations. And now Shamel Bratton has been suspended indefinitely after suspiciously not dressing for the game against Maryland in which the Cavaliers took a sizable a-whipping. Once again the suspension was for the same reason, team policy violations. I cant imagine what's in these team policies that makes it impossible for the senior class to stay out of trouble. We weren't allowed to drink on the bus ride to away games in junior college. That was the extent of our team policies. Oh and something about maintaining a certain grade point average and not murdering anyone. Those three seem fair enough. UVA's policies must rival Sharia law.

Look, I won't pretend for a second to know what these college lacrosse players must deal with or the pressures that they are under all season. But that's because I can't seem to catch a pass coming at me faster then 20 miles an hour and my Catonsville Community College credits won't transfer to UVA. So these kids are under a lot of pressure both academically and on the field, I get it. But these three are starters, All-Americans and seniors! Shamel Bratton was probably a Tewaarton Trophy candidate. Sadly, not anymore.

In spite of all the tomfoolery at hand, Virginia is still ranked in the top ten, and at 7-3 are still in the hunt for an NCAA playoff bid. If Head Coach Dom Starsia can keep his first attack unit from knocking over a liquor store, they still have a legitimate shot to win it all. I don't think anyone named Steele is likely to break team policies do you?

Possible UVA Lax Team chaperons?

So I'm not ready to count them out nor am I looking for 2 Live Crew to hang out on their sideline a la "The U" anytime soon. However, they are certainly heading in the wrong direction and someone will have to take a leadership role on and off the field to get this team back on track. But then again, maybe a few verses of "My Seven Bizzos" is just what they need.